Hypnosis
by Handsome Awkward
Summary: How would it feel to be hypnotized? Do you believe? Coult it actually happen?
1. Tickets for who?

**A.N: This just came to me after I watched an episode of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. It amused me to no end and I wanted to write something about it. Please R/R even if you do flame me.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own…**

Hypnosis. Some people think it's a load of crap. Some people believe religiously in it. Some people are not sure what to believe.

**Hypnosis**- an artificially induced trance-state resembling sleep, characterized by heightened susceptibility to suggestion

--

"I can't believe someone would even think of _paying _an idiot to get up in front of people and act like he is hypnotizing them. It's just mind-blowing." Gregory House said with a mouthful of Wilson's food.

"Don't criticize people just because you don't have their gift." Wilson said absently.

"You believe in that crap? I mean seriously, a man gets on a stage, says when you wake up you'll be a dog. You hear that, 'you'll be a dog' and it will register in your brain, you will then, as he snaps his fingers, be a dog. You're not asleep you are acknowledging the fact that he is "hypnotizing" you and you think you believe it so you make it happen." He countered grabbing the bag of chips off of Wilson's tray.

"I don't believe in it, per se. I just think it is _possible _for someone to be mildly hypnotized by something or someone. It's not a load of crap, but it's not something that's worthy of Nobel Prize either."

"I get your point and I'm still thinking you're an moron."

"Cuddy is trying to raise money for the hospital, leave it."

"No, she is trying to make money for the bald headed cancer kids."

"And that bothers you?"

"Well, it doesn't bother me, per se," House mocked Wilson's earlier statement with a wave of his hand making Wilson roll his eyes, "But who is going to pay for tickets to see a man make an idiot of himself?"

"Plenty of people have bought tickets. Cameron,"

"She'd believe anything."

"Foreman."

"He's up for anything."

"Chase."

"He's from Australia."

"That's an excuse?"

"Of course! Everybody knows people from Australia eat magic tricks for breakfast."

"Yeah 'cuz all the Australians are magicians and hypnotists."

"See? You agree."

"Cuddy?"

"She is out of her mind. She is the one who organized the whole thing."

"Me…" Beat, "don't answer that."

"Right." House smirked. "What about Coma Guy here? He didn't get a ticket?"

"Yeah, they were sold out…I bought the last two."

"Well that is just terrible…I can't believe you would leave Coma Guy out of- wait, last two?"

"Yeah, one for me and one for…you."

TBC?


	2. FINE

**A/N: Sorry so short again, next chapter should be a lot longer.**

**And thank you for all of the reviews…:D happy.**

**Disclaimer: no owny.**

"No!" House stated immediately.

"Oh come on, you haven't even gave it a chance, think about it and get back to me."

"Oh of course…no."

"That is completely adolescent of you. You're not even considering it. I'm not saying you have to get on stage and do any of the tricks."

"Tricks is right. And the only way you would be able to get me up on that stage is if you gave me two million dollars, eight bottles of Vodka, and you hit me in the head with two tons of bricks. And let me tell you, you would still have trouble getting me up there."

"That is why I'm telling you that you don't have to go on the stage, but I bought this ticket for me and you to watch this guy make an idiot of himself." Wilson said pointedly, he looked down at his salad and then back up and House.

He had a smirk on his face that Wilson couldn't decipher. Wilson caught himself slightly smirking too. "What?"

"You don't wanna go there to watch this guy make an idiot of himself." He pointed his finger at the younger man, "you wanna go because you believe this shit works. You think that this entire load of crap is true. You wanna go see someone get 'hypnotized.'" He exaggerated on the last word by using his fingers in quotations.

"Alright fine. So what if I actually believe that someone could be hypnotized."

"Whatever. You believe what you want to believe I'm going to play with my yo-yo. Yo? Get it? Yo…I'm a hoot." House said with a mock smile on his face and Wilson couldn't help but laugh.

--

"Look, it is not that big of a deal House." Cameron said with a cup of coffee in her hands.

"I know its not that big of a deal, I'm not going."

"You are such a stubborn ass."

"I love you too."

"You could at least go and make fun of him." Foreman countered as he walked toward the table to sit down.

"I could, only I'm not going."

"Why not? You have something against hypnotists or something?" Chase asked.

"Right. My Uncle Billy molested me as a young child."

"He was a hypnotist?" Chase asked oblivious to the sarcasm.

"No, I just like opening up to you guys…he really wasn't a hypnotist though…that would've been weird."

They all gave him desperate looks. "Do you ever have a serious conversation?" Foreman asked annoyed.

"Yup. I have them with my hookers all the time." He smiled and left the three to roll their eyes at their boss.

--

"So you can't do clinic, and you can't go to hospital events…what's next? Are you not even going to bother coming into work?"

"I don't want to see a hypnotist and you think I'm going to quit my job? Cuddy you're getting crazier by the minute." House stated walking past her.

"I just want to know why you can't even go to ONE hospital event. It's not that hard and it won't kill you."

"Fine!" He practically yelled.

"What?" Cuddy asked visibly startled.

"I'll go. You just don't give up do you? None of you do! Good God!" He fumed all the way to the elevators and headed back toward his office, "Can't get peace _in _my office can't get peace _out _of my office, can't get peace around Wilson, Cuddy, Cameron…stupid people…" He muttered the whole way there leaving a smiling Cuddy in his wake.


	3. Suckiness

**A/N: Way short chapter…I know…but I have one written and if I get some reviews buddy you bet it will be up here faster than a cheetah on crack…(heh. A cheetah on crack…that would be funny) anyway. Keep up the good work people!**

**Disclaimer- still don't own**

"It's not that bad."

"It's a tie. I hate ties." House stated as he fiercely straightened the said object.

"It's not that bad."

"Stop saying that! I could have a drinking game made for every time you utter that damn phrase." The offending tie still wouldn't cooperate and that made House all the angrier. He took it off and threw it across the room. "I don't like hospital functions."

"This is not even that big of a hospital function. It's a-"

"It's a black tie event! Ergo, it sucks!"

Wilson stooped down and grabbed the tie that was thrown haphazardly in the floor and ran it through his fingers. He got a grip of it and nodded at House, "Let me." He insisted softly. House nodded and looked at the floor. Wilson walked toward the older doctor and put the tie around his neck slowly.

He fought with it for a few seconds before tying into a perfect knot. "There."

"Wow. I'm so proud of you…where did you learn to do that? Orville Redenbacher? No wait that's bow-ties."

"Right. No, I learned it from my dad. He was always going to special events and crap."

"So was mine but you don't see me expertly tying knots."

"You probably forced your dad to leave you at home."

"More like, got drug by my ear all the way there. Threatened if I complained. And glared at when I said something inappropriate…ah, good times."

"Well, I can honestly say you look…not that bad." Wilson stated, ignoring his friends words, while giving him a once over.

"Gee, flattery will get you everywhere honey." House stated lightly slapping his best friend's shoulder.

"Why thank you…I've been practicing in front of my mirror." Wilson stated smiling and slapping him back. "We should get going. Are you going to take your death-machine or do you want a ride?"

"Death-machine for two hundred Alex."

"Great choice. See you there." And with that Wilson left House to do his business.

"Alrighty then…ugh. I hate hypnotists…"

TBC


	4. REDO Weird

A/N: THIS IS AN EDITED VERSION OF CHAPTER FOUR!  I got a review that made me want to revise this... and I decided to redo this chapter so it made more sense. Please read and review…:D 

By the way, thank you so much for the reviews so far… 

Disclaimer: still don't own. 

--

"It's not that bad, It's not that hard, It's not that big of a deal, you're a baby when you don't go to these events, you're a baby when you show out during these events...can't make anyone happy. Stupid hospital with its stupid events...I'm wearing a suit for God's sake. It's going to be awkward riding with a damn suit on." House was attempting to pace his apartment. He had lost his keys and was searching the whole place for them. Looking under cusions and throwing them, looking under books and throwing them, he even looked under his DVD collection, and threw them all in the floor. He grimaced and reached to pick them up only to have a jolt of pain go through his leg. He hissed and pulled up quickly. Once he stood up straight he noticed the shiny object that held his attention for so long, his keys. He reached up and grabbed the thing and threw them violently in his suit pocket. He grabbed his helmet and headed out.

Once he made it out the door he noticed a scratch on his helmet but it barely registered as he remembered his earlier conversation...with himself.

House looked up from his helmet and rolled his eyes. "OF COURSE, I'm talking to myself." He jumped as best as a crippled could on his bike and started it. Once he got on the road his anger left him. He had to concentrate on the road. That's why he got the bike. To get rid of all the doubts and irrational aspects of his life. Once you are on the bike, it's all you think about, if you think about anything but the road or your destination you are dead. It gave him a rush and it made him smile.

He drove through the city and finally made it to the hospital. He parked his bike in the usual handicap spot. He finally got out of his mundane rut when he entered the hospital. The lights were turned low and the spotlight shined on a medium height, brown haired, middle aged man, with a nice suit on. He had a chair sitting right in the middle of the stage and he was talking into the microphone. House didn't listen to a word until he got himself situated beside Wilson.

Wilson looked up and whispered, "I thought you'd take a 'wrong turn' and end up at a pub."

"Couldn't disappoint my friend." House smiled sarcastically

Wilson scoffed and looked back toward the stage. House's eyes followed and he was annoyed at the man already.

"I'm glad you all came out here tonight. Especially glad that Dr. Lisa Cuddy invited me. You always know you'll get someone in a hospital to watch you. They never run out of interesting people…"

"So he's a comedian too?" House asked Wilson as he downed a shot of scotch.

"Yeah, haven't you heard? He's also a ventriloquist and he does strip teases for really lucky women…ah to be him." Wilson stated with a cheesy smile.

"Yeah, yeah." House waved him off and put his head on his hand. Cameron, Foreman, and Chase walked up to the table.

"You mind if we sit with you?" Chase's accented voice came.

"No go ahead." Wilson said gesturing toward the seats beside him. House raised his hand for another drink as the trio found their way to the seats.

"I can't believe I'm wasting my time here."

"Time? What do you have to do?" Wilson asked incredulously.

"No, but I'd rather do anything than this. Is this guy serious?" He rolled his eyes as the man asked for the first guest.

"Anybody? Can't be shy…" he looked around and a blonde headed man raised his hand high. "Alright, you sir, could you please come up here and have a seat?"

The man nodded and rushed up to the stage. He sat down on the chair and waited for the man to continue.

"Sir? What is your name?"

"Aaron, Aaron Suiter."

"Well Aaron, please close your eyes."

"Please…does he seriously think this is going to work?" House asked in a whisper.

"They do it all the time…shut up." Cuddy said seeming to have appeared out of nowhere.

"You're falling into a deep trance…you will fall asleep now." The hypnotist replied as Aaron drifted slightly, "A deep sleep. You will be in a dream state now. Dreaming about…landscapes, the weather, your daily life, your family, you will now think you are naked. You are at home though, you are at home and you are about to take a shower. The warm water is cascading your back and you are comfortable and warm." Aaron slumped more in the chair with a slight smile on his face. "When I snap my fingers you will awaken thinking you are still in your home."

"Naked…Heh." House stated with a slight smile on his face. Wilson nudged him.

"Alright Aaron…" He snapped his fingers and Aaron slowly awoke from the trance. He was smiling slightly and he looked down.

"OH MY GOD!" He ran screaming off the stage trying to cover himself.

People all over the room started clapping and House slumped more in his chair. Wilson nudged him again and he nudged back a little harder then he should have making Wilson wince.

"Anybody willing to go next?" The hypnotist/ventriloquist/comedian asked. A young girl, in her 20s, stood up and said she would go. She walked through the maze of tables and stepped on the stage. She found her seat on the stage and the man smirked. "Great. And what is your name young lady?"

"Sarah McKinney." She smiled giddily.

"You are falling asleep Sarah. A deep sleep, one that is comfortable and relaxing. Soothing voices and all. You are in a trance, you are thinking about a dog you once had. Maybe when you were young. You are thinking about how much that animal meant to you. Did you want to be a dog in your life? Think about that for a moment. You used to pretend you were a dog I'm sure…you will go back to that memory. Think about how you felt. The dog is barking and you are mimicking it." A few moments passed, "The dog is stuck in your mind now and when the bell rings you will think you are one. Ready?" She was slumped in the chair just as Aaron was and she seemed at a strange calm. The bell rang and she suddenly started barking. She landed on her hands and knees and crawled off the stage toward the audience. When the clapping became loud the hypnotist smiled and bowed slightly.

"Thank you." He smiled again.

"Wow." Chase's voice came through House's conscious again.

"What?" House was not going to fall for this.

"That was great!" Everybody agreed with Chase. House just looked at him as if he had two heads.

"You really believe this crap don't you?" He shook his head as if disappointed. "I teach you guys to be just like me and now…you go and pull something like this? Kids…"

They rolled their eyes and the show went on.

--

After an hour and a half of the 'magic' House was dozing off when the next lucky person got on the stage.

When the man fell asleep the hypnotist put the man in a trance and went the same route as he did with the rest of the contestants when he finally explained to the audience, "you will go back years, until you are at the tender age of five now." The hypnotist held out his hand and put it in front of the man's face. He pulled a bell out of his coat pocket and showed it to the audience. He let the man sit there calmly for a small amount of time. He waited for a few more seconds until he finally spoke "You are there, that moment in time. A child, young and fun-loving." House snorted at that bit, "When the bell rings you will act, think and be a five years old."

House was shaken by Wilson and told to get up. He looked confused. He hadn't realized he was asleep through this performance. "You're sleeping. Either stay awake or go home." Wilson whispered annoyed.

"Fine." He chose the latter. "Adios people." And with that he grabbed his cane and walked out of the lobby. He went to the coat holding area and rang the bell. All of a sudden he felt a sudden change in him.

"Tee…" He smiled and shrank away from the desk and toward the bathroom. He smiled even wider when he saw the mints outside the bathroom door. He grabbed a handful of them and shoved them in his pocket and grabbed another handful and shoved them in his mouth. He went for the third handful and threw them across the room and laughed. Or more or less giggled.

He was still holding his cane and he acted like it was a sword. "Swish swish! Yeah!" a man came out of the bathroom and gave him an odd glance. He smirked and then giggled quietly.

He felt around in his suit pocket for something to play with and came out with a set of keys. He stared at them in awe and smiled. Glancing around him he smiled even wider and threw his keys across the room. The made a loud clank as they hit the floor and slid across through the other room where to hypnotist was doing his show.

He practically ran back to the front desk and rang the bell again in a playful manner and jolted from his reverie. He looked around him and down at his leg which was hurting worse than it was five minutes ago. The woman from the back came up to him and asked what he needed.

He opened his mouth and mints fell out. He smiled and gestured toward his coat. She gave him a curious look and gave it to him. He smiled again and waved apologetically and limped away from the desk. He put his hand in his pocket for the keys and came out with a handful of mints.

"Weird…"


	5. Damn Bells

**A/N: Another short chapter I know but oh well…anyway…enjoy please.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

Shaken up a bit, House looked around the lobby for his keys. He limped through the doors toward the stage again with much reluctance and looked around. He spotted the object a couple of feet away from him and limped over to grasp them. Unfortunately they were under a table…that was taken.

"Hi, Excuse me. I need to get- yeah…" He told the older woman and what it looked like her husband. He reached for the keys and finally grabbed them after some floor groping and leg pain. He shoved them in his pocket and went to turn around only to have Wilson gesturing for him to come over to him.

When he finally reached the table he was fully irritated. "What?" He snapped.

"What's your damage? I was going to ask if you needed a ride..." House sat down in his former seat.

"I have a ride."

"Right. Still, I was just asking."

"Yeah, I'm not drunk. I can actually hold my alcohol." He stated giving him a pointed look.

"Right." They sat there in silence as the show was still going on.

"When does this show end? Ever? It's lasted like two hours…" House rolled his eyes and took a swig of Wilson was drinking and made a face.

"He's a hypnotist he needs time." Wilson ignored his friend's grimace and grabbed the glass of wine from him.

"Yeah, yeah." House stated putting a mint in his mouth.

"Where did you get that?"

"I'm not sure…Like they somehow appeared in my pocket." House stated looking down at his keys that were resting in his hand.

After another couple of moments of silence, a cell phone was going off. Wilson's cell phone. Damn bells.

"Sorry, I'm so sorry." He jumped up quickly and Cuddy smirked at him.

House's mind went foggy and he could only think about one thing. He had to use the bathroom. He looked around himself wildly only to see Wilson walking away from him. He turned in his chair and put his right leg up under himself giving him some leverage. He jumped out of the chair and stumbled slightly before chasing after Wilson.

"Jimmy…Jimmy…. JIMMY!" House whispered loudly and pulling on Wilson's jacket. "Jimmy? Jimmy? JIMMY?"

"What? What is your problem?"

"I gotta go potty."

"What?!" Wilson practically yelled getting hushed by the rest of the audience. He grasped House's arm and pulled him through the doors and to the lobby.

House's eyes widened profusely and he bounced a few more times, "I gotta go potty…You gotta go with me 'cuz I'm scared to do it by myself." He let out a little whimper, "Jimmy…take me to the potty! TAKE ME TO THE POTTY!"

"Shut up." Wilson tried to ignore what he thought was House's lousy attempt at a joke.

"I'm not kidding, I'm gunna go right here if you don't take me…you just wait." He realized that Wilson was ignoring him. "I'm gunna hold my breath." He took a deep breath and held it. Wilson looked at him incredulously. He shook his head and looked back at his phone. House didn't stop holding his breath though. His face was turning a nice shade of red when Wilson jabbed him the ribs.

"GREG HAS TO POTTY!" He stated in a very loud whisper with his teeth gritted. Wilson nudged him again and told him to shut up.

"No, I need to potty! NOW!"

"House knock it off…If this is your idea of a joke you must have way too much time on your hands." Wilson stated looking away from him closing the razor phone.

Just then, in the nick of time you could say, Wilson's cell phone rang once again. He shut it off completely then getting annoyed by it. "Stupid thing…House? What is wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you? I've been trying to leave for the past fifteen minutes." Wilson's eyes widened at the tall man, and House just ignored the look and limped out of the building toward his motorcycle.

TBC 


	6. Porkchops and Whatnot

**A/N- enjoy...**

**dont own**

"I'm more worried than anything…" Wilson stated to the table he had been sitting at during the performance. House had just gone home and Wilson was telling them the story.

"What? You mean he actually said he had to go 'potty'?" Chase asked mildly amused.

Cameron and Foreman had to smirk…It's not every day you get to hear these embarrassing stories, especially about House.

"Yeah, it was so weird…Well I need to get home and make sure he didn't drink anymore." Wilson grabbed his drink and swallowed the rest of it and turned to walk out.

"Good luck." Cuddy called after him.

"Ha. Thanks." He called back sarcastically.

Walking- more like slightly swaying in a very non-provocative manner- to his car, Wilson was still wondering what was wrong with House. His mind travel was cut short when he slammed into the side of his silver car.

"Ow." He simply stated pulling on the handle and realizing the door was locked. He rolled his eyes at his own stupidity and reached for his keys. Once he pulled them out of his coat pocket he unlocked the door quickly and slid in the seat. He started the car and pulled out of the parking lot- all the while thinking about how weird House was acting.

--

"Mary had a liiiiiiittttttllllleeeee lamb…liiiiiiiiitttttttttttllllllleeeeee lamb… liitttttlllleee lamb…Mary had a little laaaaaaaamb who's fleeeeeeeece was whittttteee aaaas snooooooooow!"

Wilson walked into House's apartment hearing his deep voice belt out the children's song and he had to smile. He wasn't quite getting the high pitches and it actually made him sound like a child. Wilson made his way to where the 'music' was coming from and found the area to be the bathroom. He opened the door and what he saw both amused him and slightly startled him. He couldn't help the laugh that escaped though.

House was sitting, fully clothed and soaked, in the deep bubbly water of his bathtub. The bubbles were oozing over the edge- some were splattered in the floor and on the walls while others were dripping from the ceiling and House's hair and face. He was slightly splashing and he would pause every now and then to style his hair in Mohawks, Liberty Spikes, even parted and flattened it to look vaguely like Wilson's. He giggled and looked up at the clearing of a throat.

He smiled widely and threw a hand full of bubbles at James that barely even made it half way. House looked down and frowned- disappointed that the soap didn't hit his friend. Wilson smiled at that and walked toward the man.

"What in God's name are you doing?" He tried to be the stern adult but the sight of House in this state just made him want laugh and take pictures. "Doesn't your leg hurt?"

"Nope. My head hurts though. I. Am. So. HUNGRY!" He yelled jumping out of the tub and slamming right into Wilson's chest getting him soaked as well. He wrapped his arms around Wilson and started to whisper in Wilson's ear, "Make…" His voice got lower and Wilson got more uncomfortable, "Me…a sammich!" He yelled the last word and giggled slightly pushing past the younger man and started to jog to the living room. Wilson rolled his eyes and followed the trail of bubbles and water.

"If I make you a saNDWich will you get cleaned up while I'm doing it?" Wilson asked using his best 'grown-man-talking-to-a-small-child-on-Ritalin' voice.

"Bu-uuuuuuut…" House pouted looking at him.

"But what?"

"Tee."

"What is your problem now?"

"YOU said BUTT!"

"Yes, I did, but I meant it as a transition…not an obscurity." Wilson said simply.

House's confused look made him want to laugh again.

"I didn't mean it as your BUTT- I meant it like 'but, you still need to get cleaned up.'"

"Tee…you said 'butt' twice!" House giggled again.

"Stop that." Wilson was getting annoyed.

"Stop that." House mimicked.

"I'm not joking Greg."

"I'm not joking Greg."

"Stop it!"

"Stop it!"

"IF you do not stop copying me I swear to God…" Empty threat.

"IF you do not stop copying me I swear to Goooo-ooood."

Wilson just turned and walked toward the kitchen. "No 'sammich'…Ever."

"No! I'm sorry- J-James…I'm sorry!" Wilson was trailing his ankles and trying to get him to stay by pulling on his wet collar and Wilson turned around swiftly. Making House's eyes widen. "Just…don't take away the sammich," He said in his best pleading tone that had Wilson smiling widely.

"Alright. But just this once." Wilson said like this happened every night…He wasn't even thinking about what was wrong with him any more- he was highly amused at him and decided to go along with this.

"Uh…cool!" House stated smiling- he still had soap in his hair and water still held itself in his jeans and tee shirt. The sight would make even Foreman laugh.

"Get dressed." Wilson got out between laughs. "Seriously."

"Okey dokey…"

"Do you want bacon- or what?"

"PORK CHOPS!" He heard House yell from his bedroom.

"No! It's too late for that."

"PORK CHOPS!"

"Jesus…fine." Wilson said rolling his eyes.

--

About 20 minutes later ONE pork-chop was cooking in the oven– and Wilson and House were sitting in the living room watching Nick Nite.

The timer finally decided to go off and House shook his head slightly. His leg was hurting again and he looked at Wilson incredulously… "What the hell was that?"

Wilson gave him the same look. "What?"

"That ringing?"

"The pork-chops."

"Why the HELL are you making pork-chops at midnight?"

"You asked me-"

That's when it all hit him. He should have thought of this before.

"I asked you what?"

"You fell asleep at though show didn't you?"

"Sure… Why is that important."

Wilson realized that House didn't get it…this could be fun…

"Never mind- it's not important. The pork-chops are for me."


	7. You Make Me Cry

**Another one of my fics that people would like me to continue. I'm getting back into the whole writing thing but I would still like to apologize that it is taking me so long to update all of these. Hopefully you guys will stick with me and if not I will get new readers :D Again. I'm sorry about the whole hiatus. I'll do my best to get these updated quicker but with the whole college education thing it may take some time. If you have stuck with me I appreciate you so much. Thank you for all the reviews and I'll do my best to oblige the whole updating thing. :D:D**

**Don't own. **

**Enjoy**

_"You fell asleep at though show didn't you?"_

_"Sure… Why is that important."_

_Wilson realized that House didn't get it…this could be fun…_

_"Never mind- it's not important. The pork-chops are for me."_

Wilson walked, well more like, sneaked into Cuddy's office and sat down in front of her as she talked to someone over the phone. She smiled at him and held up her finger that signaled for him to wait a moment. He nodded a little too excitedly and twiddled with his fingers a bit. Once she finally said 'goodbye' to the person, Wilson nearly fell out of his seat to tell her the news.

"House was hypnotized." Wilson said in a giddy whisper to Cuddy.

She looked more than a little confused and concerned with his mental health, "What?"

It was the pure definition of 'word vomit', Wilson spewed out the words, "Last night…at the hypnosis show, House was hypnotized. He doesn't know. Every time a bell rings he turns into a five-year-old…It's…amazing."

"Are…you serious?" She asked with a slight smile on her face.

"One hundred percent, absolutely, dead serious." Wilson smiled, "He was in the bathtub last night, throwing bubbles, he kept asking for a sandwich…or 'sammich', and he practically cried with I said no. When I cooked it, the stove dinged and it was like he just fell out of the trance."

Cuddy smiled even wider now. "So, are you going to tell him?"

"I don't know. I just don't know how long it's going to last and I really don't want to take advantage of him like that."

Cuddy gave him a pointed look.

"Okay, so I don't mind taking advantage of him…I'm just afraid of what he'll do when he finds out."

She nodded, understanding, "I…want to see how this all works out." She smiled at him and Wilson smiled right back.

"Well, I'll let you know what I find out."

And with that, he left her office, confident that all the times House had embarrassed him in the past were about to get justice.

"Patient?" House asked walking into the conference room and throwing down his bag.

"We don't have one." Foreman stated without looking up from the Forbes magazine in his hand.

"Good deal." He said as he entered his office and closed the door.

He sat down at his desk and propped his legs up in front of him, logging into his name on the computer. Just as he pulled up a porn site, Wilson walked into his office with his phone in hand.

"Can you call me to see if my phone is working?" Wilson asked sitting down in front of him and holding out the accused device toward House.

"Can't you call yourself?" House asked glancing over at him.

"Eh, just do it." Wilson said rolling his eyes.

"I'm busy." He mumbled.

"_Sir Humps-A-Lot _can wait. Do it."

House sighed and grumbled a bit before grabbing his office phone and dialing Wilson's number. He threw it on the desk beside him and turned back to the lewd naked women on his computer screen.

Wilson's phone started to ring. The annoying bells sounded off throughout House's office and Wilson waited.

House didn't turn around because he was magnificently fascinated watching the porn on his computer. His wide eyes averted to Wilson's.

"Those….are….boobies." He stated in a whisper.

Wilson smiled in success and stood up, "Thanks, House."

"Don't leave." House whined.

"Why?" Wilson asked walking toward the desk.

"You need to make sure I'm okay."

"What?"

House looked severely worried, "I can't be by myself."

Wilson smiled. "Okay, I'm sorry, I wont leave."


End file.
